Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Pushing On The Pull Door

Today was one of those cloudy, dull, throbbing headache kind of days that make getting out of bed seem like a really bad idea. One of those days where you walk around in a daze and find yourself literally pushing on the pull door and wondering what the heck is wrong with the damn door! It was on this day that I realized how Sisyphus must have felt looking up that hill, the realization of how steep it was dawning on him. I spent the last month in a gloried rush, starting up my Etsy business, reading every business related article and blurb I could find, researching, studiying market trends, scoping out the competition and researching some more. And knitting till my fingers were numb in between all the rest. Don't be mistaken, I got A LOT accomplished in the space of thirty days, and I am so proud of myself, but it has occured to me that if I really want to commit to this and really make a go of it, it is going to take an enormous amount of work and dedication and probably a lot of disappointment too. Committing to this, to really putting my best effort and work into this suddenly seems daunting and well, scary. What if I fail? What if I make a huge mistake and people lose faith in me? What if my friends and family are just humouring me, what if they don't really think I can do this? I would feel like such a loser and the disappointment and disillusionment would be crushing. I am the kind of person that is really good at starting things, but not so good with following through. But if I am going to succeed on Etsy I am going to have to commit time, energy and money and that is really scary for me. But I intend to succeed and the only way to truly fail is to stop trying. So I am going to keep putting one metaphorical foot in front of the other, keep slugging away at this and hopefully one day I will look back on my labours and find them all to have been very worthwhile.

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